When I was sixteen, my family visited Hawaii, and I had a cute new swimsuit. I was a pretty busty teen, with the vocabulary of an AP English student, and while I was out swimming, a couple of college guys started flirting with me. Nothing gross, just pleasantly casual hey-you-look-great-how-are-you-enjoying-the-beach stuff.
After a minute or two of this, one of them asked if I was there with friends, and I said no, I was with my family. “Wow, you still travel with your family?” one exclaimed. “That’s cool…”
“Well, I am sixteen,” sez me.
Reader, they blanched. They flustered, they apologized, they assured me that they’d thought I was also in college, they wished me a good vacation and they bounced. All within about a minute of realizing they’d been chatting up a minor.
I was mildly mortified at the time, but now? I look back and think, Ah, what good men. What good young men.
Fun fact, this happened to me when I was, I shit you not, twelve years old. I had a comically deep voice for my age and gender, and I was well-spoken, so I regularly got mistaken for an older girl in spite of my babyish face.
Long story short, one fateful day, a university student started talking to me (somewhat flirtatiously) at a Harry Potter meet-up and when he asked what university I was going to to I had to explain that I was, in fact, in the sixth grade. Both of our souls left our bodies. He was great about it though, he asked me about my classes and if I was ready for high school and shit, and I got to ask him about college which was cool cause I didn’t get to interact with many college students!
It’s not a crime to misjudge a person’s age, it happens all the time. It IS a crime to willfully ignore someone’s age and sexually harass them!
In case you weren’t convinced that hating yourself is a learned behavior
Physical shame comes from parents, teachers, media, and peers. It’s not something you’re born with. You were born naked, wonderful, and gorgeous, and no one should make another being feel as if that wasn’t, and isn’t true.
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