so in 2010 i made a facebook event for my birthday party for this year, because i thought “haha wouldnt that be funny, 2018 is forever away!”. but now it is 2018, and my birthday is in 2 days.
people have been building the hype for the past 8 years
and now im stressed cause i gotta deliver, i had 8 years to make plans and i procrastinated to the last minute. time makes fools of us all
The big day came and went. I knew I had to do something special so I turned the party into a SURPRISE MURDER MYSTERY! It’s long so check my twitter post for the whole thing but here are the highlights:
At 10:48pm, I called everyone into my room. There had been a murder, and
everybody was a suspect. Next to the body was a gun, and the party
goers were quick to find the red fingerprints on it
They found red fingerprints on a balloon and popped it to find a receipt for gum inside. Someone had been passing out gum all night, however they claimed someone else gave them the gum first.
the argument was going nowhere so we contacted the victims spirit. she led us to the REAL murder weapon: a 100% very real bottle of poison. my roommate claimed he saw someone earlier with that bottle, but before he could tell us…
the power went out! and when it came back on…
my roommate had been murdered! following the clues, we tracked down the true culprit to the bathroom, where he was trying to escape through the window
with the murder successfully solved, the party goers were treated to this congratulatory message on the wall to forever commemorate their success. the other prize was that they didnt have to listen to my fake Savannah accent anymore
“This is the first time Juniper has ever eaten a carrot and it was specifically so that Fig couldn’t eat it. Look at the spite in her eyes. She doesn’t even like them 😂”
Hey, do you know that feeling of hitching up a long skirt so you don’t fall on your face when walking upstairs, and then you immediately become a wretched yet resolute Jane Austen character? It’s a universal thing, right?
It’s like resting a laundry basket against your hip and suddenly you’re a long-suffering peasant woman, wondering if you’ll survive the winter.
a shawl wrapped around the shoulders and you’re wandering the moors in a Brönte novel, feeling melancholic
Looking out the window at the rain and you’re a love-stricken newlywed wondering when your husband will return from the war.
Long skirt billowing behind you while to go down the stairs, you’re a proper Lady in a flowing ball gown being introduced at a fancy social function.
Hair blowing in the wind and suddenly you’re hovering on a cliff by the sea, staring out into the waves and praying your merchant husband will return from his voyage across the ocean
Hood up against the rain and wind and you’re a medieval abbess defying the weather and travelling on foot with your people to find a place to establish a new community.
Wiping your hands on your apron and you’re an 18th century kitchen girl rushing to let in the delivery boy you secretly love.
The cool fall wind catches your skirt, sends leaves swirling around your feet, and catches your hair and sends it flying behind you, and suddenly you’re a enchantress roaming the woods, daring any man to challenge your power.
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